[ he could easily say something like "yeah, I've gotten good at that" or some other joke to make things lighter, but considering the circumstances he still thinks he should probably be a little more delicate rather than bulldoze in like usual. even if he scowls a little at the mention of ema. ]
I can't believe she ditched me because she snapped out of it first. I'll have to go find her tomorrow. [ maybe to chew her out, or maybe to just be relieved she's normal again, too. but that is a tomorrow problem. for right now, he keeps his hand where it is and there's a slight sigh as he continues studying him. ]
... I didn't actually mean to pull you away from your party. Meeting? [ I can't believe I missed an entire meeting. ] If you need to go back, I can walk myself out. [ he says this, but he is also very clearly telegraphing the idea that he did not change his mind about keeping klavier's attention for himself even if he feels marginally crazier for it now than he did ten minutes ago. ]
he's sure he can do this without being rebuffed, so klavier will take him by the shoulder, crowd him up against the nearest wall, and kiss him deeply. ]
[ cool! they're going to keep making out in the hallway. klavier gets an arms around apollo's waist and the other against the side of his neck. he's savoring every kiss for all it's worth.
[ there are a lot of things that could be said here, but actually no he's going to go back to being head-empty for a bit and enjoy every second of this. you think apollo's going to be the one to stop first? considering klavier died first?? and then he watched him make out with ema yesterday???
it's a stupid thing to be vaguely jealous about given they were all extremely cursed but consider: he does not care! sorry! they are absolutely making out in this hallway for a bit and the only reason he's stopping eventually is because he's losing his balance staying up on his toes to reach. ]
Could've just said "it's fine." [ be less smug about this, actually. and he pauses again to kiss him briefly before he decides to take it a step further.] ... stay with me tonight?
[ apollo you are soooo cute. as soon as klavier feels apollo shaking from having to stand on his toes, he bends down more to accommodate his height, smiling irresistibly against his lips. he lets apollo draw away from him first, but only to drag his lips to the edge of apollo's mouth. they kiss again and klavier drinks it in, reluctant to pull away before apollo speaks up.
a hot spike runs through his body. he leans back, meeting apollo with a fevered gaze. beneath it is an underlying longing. ]
That's awfully forward. Are you certain your mind is completely clear?
[ he's teasing. he slides his hands to apollo's hips and murmurs between them. ]
There are rooms upstairs.
[ klavier's not going to wait until they get back to the cabins. he ends with a long, hot kiss to apollo's throat before he finally draws back and takes apollo's hand. they're headed to the elevators unless apollo stops him. congrats pixi!!!! ]
anyway yeah? yeah! he seems very weirdly sure of himself, actually, which he'll probably have to explain later why he's not a blushing, stuttering (anna voice) turbovirgin right now, but considering his answer to klavier's hands dropping to his hips is stepping closer to press flush against him and nip at his jaw, he's not interested in explaining the whys yet. ]
Yeah. [ whether that's "yeah i'm sure" or "yeah i know there's rooms upstairs" he does not clarify either because he's too busy tilting his head back to make room for that kiss before following him back for the elevators. congrats pixi!!
also sorry to say he's also decided that as soon as they're in the elevators and he smacks the button for the top floor he's back to pressing klavier against the wall to kiss him again. don't question him, he will continue making out with him until the doors open again. he's fine? this is fine. ]
[ okay!!! klavier's definitely not opposed, letting himself be backed up and immediately responding to those hungry kisses. unfortunately for us both, his hands immediately fall over apollo's ass, pressing him close.
he's not completely lost. a few moments, he finally breaks their line of kisses. ]
[ enjoy his ass, he supposes. he's still dressed in a nice suit but he's not too fussed about that either, and he's not shaking klavier off because he's busy with his mouth here. there's a noise of disappointment when klavier pulls away, but he isn't so far gone not to hear him and address the question. ]
... I just thought... [ how to explain. ] Fast, I know. We don't have to. [ this isn't an explanation? it's also still not apollo saying no. ]
[ somehow that actually works to slow him down, because romantic gestures always kind of hit him between the eyes and make him pause long enough to assess what they're doing. (mostly because he likes them and he has zero idea what to do with that.) so he's leaning against him a bit while the elevator rises and he ponders the best explanation he can. ]
I just thought... this might be our only chance. Considering the circumstances. [ being dead. also: ] And if we do figure things out and go back I'd have to share you with the rest of the world again anyway. [ he makes a face. ] No, wait, that's a stupid explanation. Never mind.
that actually stuns him in place for a moment. that was... insanely blunt. apollo's initial reasoning made sense, and klavier had been open to talking with him about it, but that next part makes him seize up.
[ surprise, now that he's back to normal he's back to being insanely blunt about things. which is to say he pulls back a little then to stare up at him. again, he knows that's insane to say but he figures it's like this. he's not used to the idea of casual, but he's also not going to ask klavier to do anything he doesn't want to do, including not go back to how things were before this vacation. he's also still not entirely sure how he feels and what he wants beyond his initial thoughts that he hasn't shared.
nevertheless he watches him to read his expression while he talks, like he's gauging if he's hoping this is because apollo is drunk or cursed or what-have-you. ]
No. [ no, he's just thought about it a little. ] But this can be whatever you want it to be.
[ klavier's smile eases away. this isn't a curse or some spell the place put on apollo—this is how he is when he's in his feelings, trying to be a realist about how long this may go for and how far. knowing this, it's almost sweet, seeing how desperate and hungry he seems to be. selfish as it may be, klavier finds it difficult to believe he'd act the same way towards anyone else. he keeps the thought to himself.
the hands on apollo's ass blessedly move up to hold his waist instead, but he doesn't let him go. ]
And how is that fair, having only what I want?
[ he lowers his chin a little, still meeting apollo's intense gaze directly. ]
You want me all for yourself, you said, even for just one evening. You would have me for longer if you could?
[ if nothing else, apollo is a realist. when you're someone whose life keeps getting upended out of nowhere, and you keep losing people and things you don't get to keep for yourself, you kind of get in a mode where you don't want to be the first to hint you want an attachment. he figures maybe this really is the only time he can consider the idea of having klavier to himself (brought on by their first kiss a week ago and thought over while they were separated), but it also means...
sure. maybe he likes the guy. it's not like klavier doesn't have qualities apollo would've looked for and been attracted to anyway. smart. honest. attractive. infuriating. willing to do whatever it took to reach the same conclusion. dedicated. thoughtful. these are all parts he's observed over the last several months when he went "ugh" and ignored it because klavier gavin was someone who belonged to the rest of the world and apollo never humored the idea of even thinking klavier might think the same. there's also the chance that what klavier said this morning wasn't... anything more than platonic. maybe he really was just grateful for everything that happened at home, the changes in his life to try and make things right.
regardless, no, he would not act this way toward anyone else. he doesn't move in closer even when klavier's hand is on his waist, but he doesn't try to pull back again either. ]
I didn't think it was a thing I can ask for. [ honesty. he values it, so he figures klavier would, too. and if it's too intense and too sudden and too jarring for whatever picture of apollo klavier has, well, he will simply just never act on the opposing counsel against him ever again. ] But maybe, sure.
Not a thing you ask for, but a thing you make clear from the outset, so you won't be badly hurt.
[ klavier knows this song and dance, if not from his own experience then from media consumption. (he likes to be thorough. how would you write songs about romance without knowing everything you can about it?) there have been people he's met and grown close to that have projected on him, read signs that weren't there, and made a coffin fit for them both. thankfully, klavier's job is sustained on clear communication, and he's not afraid to be honest even while being sensitive.
this is one of those situations where he has to be both. honest. sensitive.
his eyes flicker to the buttons on the elevator, gauging their time. (rising, still rising. are the suites really on the top floor, or did apollo just want to stay in the elevator for as long as possible?) then he looks at apollo. ]
First... You realize it would be difficult, dating an ex-celebrity. Even more so to face him in court again eventually. I don't believe there are laws against it, but... it would generally be frowned upon.
[ his gaze sharpens a little, mouth thinning into a line. okay, well, yes. but damn, did you have to say that? it's true that he'd made it clear recently, going into this conversation already prepared for the worst outcome because it was easier than thinking...
... god. this is stupid, actually. apollo's not good with romance, and he's still trying to figure out if he even likes klavier enough to consider dating him (he knows the answer. he's ignoring it because it's a kind of scary concept at the moment, also he feels insane because he hadn't really considered it until recently.) but he also knows how to read klavier well enough and he knows that they wouldn't be having this conversation if there wasn't some intrigue from the prosecutor to see what apollo's thinking.
their time in the elevator's drawing to a close, and he continues to frown. ]
Who said anything about dating? [ the words are harsh, but the tone is not. ] I told you that this can be whatever you want it to be.
[ ... part of this is also probably because klavier's the one who first mentioned he thought apollo just needed to get laid to loosen up, so clearly... (clearly, he is stubbornly thinking the worst to protect himself while he comes to terms with his own thoughts.) ]
[ yes, he very clearly is. klavier watches as apollo has his war within himself, his thinly-veiled irritation and confusion against clear desire, logical or not. apollo is trying to be realistic and accepting, even if it hurts.
the elevator dings. they've reached their floor. klavier looks at apollo again briefly as the door opens, and then he reaches for his hand. ]
Come. Let's talk elsewhere.
[ klavier obviously thinks this conversation will end in a way that keeps them both in the hotel room overnight. ]
[ the fact that klavier reaches for his hand helps. despite apollo's hesitations about where this is going (what it means, rather, not about following through) , klavier pursuing helps. he takes the offered hand and he shoots him a look that says he almost dares him to mention the way his grip is a little tight.
regardless of the conversation that will unfold, he's pretty determined to stay. he steps out of the elevator and begins to pull ahead, but he stops shortly in the hallway and looks at klavier again. he doesn't move, but he remains close and keeps his hand for himself. this is apollo relinquishing control for the moment. this is apollo putting some trust in klavier and letting him take charge.
so yeah, he follows him into the hotel room and shuts the door behind them, letting klavier dictate what comes first. ]
So... talking. [ he says it to prompt, but it's another form of apollo trying to trust him. he knows he can throw himself into things head first, but he's giving klavier the chance to talk or act first to follow his lead. ]
[ moments ago, a scenario played out in klavier's head where there were hardly words spoken as soon as the door was opened—nothing but pillow talk and murmurs and each other's names until deep in the evening, after they'd devoured and had their fill of the other. now, when the door closes, klavier is preparing the many words he's turned in his head since this vacation started, exacerbated by his own life ending once, apollo's ending twice.
he doesn't let go of his hand, instead leading him to the bedside to sit with him, other hand in his pocket. ]
I only mentioned my fame and our predicament as lawyers to ask if you're prepared to face them... once we leave this place.
[ again, he needs to believe that they will or he'll just go insane. ]
I consider the Gavinners' disbandment and the incarceration of my brother to be... something like the end of two long-term commitments. You understand my faith in my own judgment feels slightly impaired... but if there is one other person I feel I can place my trust in, it would be you. So I would like to know you better, outside of a place like this one.
[ would he really be apollo justice if he didn't stand in his own way sometimes? sure, okay, he's thought about this once or twice., what it might be like to go out and sleep with klavier gavin with no strings attached. something casual and fun and easy, too overcome with desire to even let himself think. he'd almost managed it, but now... he's too curious about what klavier must be thinking. it feels significant now that he's slowed them down for this talk. he wordlessly follows him to the bed and takes a seat, adjusting so he can face him but holding his hand. the bracelet arm lays across his lap loosely, but he doesn't look away.
he opens his mouth to interrupt, but he stops short when klavier mentions two source of grief. losing first his brother, and then his best friend, and the disbandment of something he poured his life into... of course he understands the hesitance. apollo himself has his own guilt tied to these things and his hand in them. it's part of why he was resistant to this idea for so long. when klavier finishes speaking, he takes a few moments of his own to collect his thoughts.
they will get out of here. it's important to think about the after. ]
... your dedication is a lot of what I like about you, you know? And... it takes a lot to look at those things and decide you might have to lose them because the truth is more important. Not everyone could. [ he looks down at their hands then. ] Honestly? I didn't know how to approach you afterwards. I wanted to. I... needed to know you were going to be fine, but I didn't know if you would even want to see me or if what I had to say would matter. It's part of why I left.
[ he needed to separate himself from home for a short while to try and sort his thoughts and worries. ]
I want to trust you. And I want to be someone you can trust, too. So... slow is actually better. [ a tiny note of relief in his tone, and an even smaller but honest smile. ] Maybe just... like you said, getting to know each other better outside of work. I'd like that.
[ it's apollo willing to slow down to prove klavier's judgment can be sound again. it's also apollo trying his best to relinquish the tight grip on his own heart and actually let someone try with him. he knows himself well enough to realize he may not be as fast in a courtship as someone else wants, but... maybe that's what makes klavier perfect for him right now. ]
For all the grief you've given me, you are a romantic at heart yourself, nein? Wanting to check in on me and comfort me, needing to know I am all right... I had no idea you were so doting.
[ he's teasing again, but in quiet, genuine appreciation. his expression softens, and he lets go of apollo's hand to take him by the arm instead, near the elbow. ]
I won't deny being upset about circumstances in general, but you especially are free to visit me, and I will hear anything you have to say. For now...
[ he places a hand on apollo's hip and gently tugs with the other. ]
That is not being doting. That's being a decent human. [ he says this but he isn't remotely mad about it. also not denying the romantic thing even though he very much is not. not in the way he's sensing klavier is. but hey, apollo's sense of romance really is just being attentive of the people he cares about and willing to do anything for them. he's been worried for a while, and even seeing klavier tease him doesn't incite the usual indignation that comes up but rather helps the tension drains from his shoulders. it's why he settles for watching him, letting klavier's hand move up his arm as he tilts his head. ]
But good to know. I'll see if I can work you into my busy schedule then. [ it's a dumb little joke because, well, look at the WAA. he has plenty of time for something like this. likewise, he has plenty of time right now to do what it is he wants to do and prove that klavier can trust him. he barely has to pull before apollo moves, easily tipping into his lap and letting his hands carefully cradle his face. where were they...? oh, right. kissing senselessly. he can pick up where they left off. ]
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I can't believe she ditched me because she snapped out of it first. I'll have to go find her tomorrow. [ maybe to chew her out, or maybe to just be relieved she's normal again, too. but that is a tomorrow problem. for right now, he keeps his hand where it is and there's a slight sigh as he continues studying him. ]
... I didn't actually mean to pull you away from your party. Meeting? [ I can't believe I missed an entire meeting. ] If you need to go back, I can walk myself out. [ he says this, but he is also very clearly telegraphing the idea that he did not change his mind about keeping klavier's attention for himself even if he feels marginally crazier for it now than he did ten minutes ago. ]
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he's sure he can do this without being rebuffed, so klavier will take him by the shoulder, crowd him up against the nearest wall, and kiss him deeply. ]
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okay.
yeah, he's just going to shut up and drag him down closer to keep him liplocked for a while, thanks. ]
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he won't be the first one to stop. sorry! ]
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it's a stupid thing to be vaguely jealous about given they were all extremely cursed but consider: he does not care! sorry! they are absolutely making out in this hallway for a bit and the only reason he's stopping eventually is because he's losing his balance staying up on his toes to reach. ]
Could've just said "it's fine." [ be less smug about this, actually. and he pauses again to kiss him briefly before he decides to take it a step further.] ... stay with me tonight?
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a hot spike runs through his body. he leans back, meeting apollo with a fevered gaze. beneath it is an underlying longing. ]
That's awfully forward. Are you certain your mind is completely clear?
[ he's teasing. he slides his hands to apollo's hips and murmurs between them. ]
There are rooms upstairs.
[ klavier's not going to wait until they get back to the cabins. he ends with a long, hot kiss to apollo's throat before he finally draws back and takes apollo's hand. they're headed to the elevators unless apollo stops him. congrats pixi!!!! ]
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anyway yeah? yeah! he seems very weirdly sure of himself, actually, which he'll probably have to explain later why he's not a blushing, stuttering (anna voice) turbovirgin right now, but considering his answer to klavier's hands dropping to his hips is stepping closer to press flush against him and nip at his jaw, he's not interested in explaining the whys yet. ]
Yeah. [ whether that's "yeah i'm sure" or "yeah i know there's rooms upstairs" he does not clarify either because he's too busy tilting his head back to make room for that kiss before following him back for the elevators. congrats pixi!!
also sorry to say he's also decided that as soon as they're in the elevators and he smacks the button for the top floor he's back to pressing klavier against the wall to kiss him again. don't question him, he will continue making out with him until the doors open again. he's fine? this is fine. ]
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he's not completely lost. a few moments, he finally breaks their line of kisses. ]
Still forceful. What's going on with you?
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... I just thought... [ how to explain. ] Fast, I know. We don't have to. [ this isn't an explanation? it's also still not apollo saying no. ]
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I never said anything about stopping, ja? You just seem different.
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I just thought... this might be our only chance. Considering the circumstances. [ being dead. also: ] And if we do figure things out and go back I'd have to share you with the rest of the world again anyway. [ he makes a face. ] No, wait, that's a stupid explanation. Never mind.
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that actually stuns him in place for a moment. that was... insanely blunt. apollo's initial reasoning made sense, and klavier had been open to talking with him about it, but that next part makes him seize up.
then he laughs lightly and relaxes. ]
Were you given any unusual drinks this evening?
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nevertheless he watches him to read his expression while he talks, like he's gauging if he's hoping this is because apollo is drunk or cursed or what-have-you. ]
No. [ no, he's just thought about it a little. ] But this can be whatever you want it to be.
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the hands on apollo's ass blessedly move up to hold his waist instead, but he doesn't let him go. ]
And how is that fair, having only what I want?
[ he lowers his chin a little, still meeting apollo's intense gaze directly. ]
You want me all for yourself, you said, even for just one evening. You would have me for longer if you could?
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sure. maybe he likes the guy. it's not like klavier doesn't have qualities apollo would've looked for and been attracted to anyway. smart. honest. attractive. infuriating. willing to do whatever it took to reach the same conclusion. dedicated. thoughtful. these are all parts he's observed over the last several months when he went "ugh" and ignored it because klavier gavin was someone who belonged to the rest of the world and apollo never humored the idea of even thinking klavier might think the same. there's also the chance that what klavier said this morning wasn't... anything more than platonic. maybe he really was just grateful for everything that happened at home, the changes in his life to try and make things right.
regardless, no, he would not act this way toward anyone else. he doesn't move in closer even when klavier's hand is on his waist, but he doesn't try to pull back again either. ]
I didn't think it was a thing I can ask for. [ honesty. he values it, so he figures klavier would, too. and if it's too intense and too sudden and too jarring for whatever picture of apollo klavier has, well, he will simply just never act on the opposing counsel against him ever again. ] But maybe, sure.
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[ klavier knows this song and dance, if not from his own experience then from media consumption. (he likes to be thorough. how would you write songs about romance without knowing everything you can about it?) there have been people he's met and grown close to that have projected on him, read signs that weren't there, and made a coffin fit for them both. thankfully, klavier's job is sustained on clear communication, and he's not afraid to be honest even while being sensitive.
this is one of those situations where he has to be both. honest. sensitive.
his eyes flicker to the buttons on the elevator, gauging their time. (rising, still rising. are the suites really on the top floor, or did apollo just want to stay in the elevator for as long as possible?) then he looks at apollo. ]
First... You realize it would be difficult, dating an ex-celebrity. Even more so to face him in court again eventually. I don't believe there are laws against it, but... it would generally be frowned upon.
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... god. this is stupid, actually. apollo's not good with romance, and he's still trying to figure out if he even likes klavier enough to consider dating him (he knows the answer. he's ignoring it because it's a kind of scary concept at the moment, also he feels insane because he hadn't really considered it until recently.) but he also knows how to read klavier well enough and he knows that they wouldn't be having this conversation if there wasn't some intrigue from the prosecutor to see what apollo's thinking.
their time in the elevator's drawing to a close, and he continues to frown. ]
Who said anything about dating? [ the words are harsh, but the tone is not. ] I told you that this can be whatever you want it to be.
[ ... part of this is also probably because klavier's the one who first mentioned he thought apollo just needed to get laid to loosen up, so clearly... (clearly, he is stubbornly thinking the worst to protect himself while he comes to terms with his own thoughts.) ]
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the elevator dings. they've reached their floor. klavier looks at apollo again briefly as the door opens, and then he reaches for his hand. ]
Come. Let's talk elsewhere.
[ klavier obviously thinks this conversation will end in a way that keeps them both in the hotel room overnight. ]
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regardless of the conversation that will unfold, he's pretty determined to stay. he steps out of the elevator and begins to pull ahead, but he stops shortly in the hallway and looks at klavier again. he doesn't move, but he remains close and keeps his hand for himself. this is apollo relinquishing control for the moment. this is apollo putting some trust in klavier and letting him take charge.
so yeah, he follows him into the hotel room and shuts the door behind them, letting klavier dictate what comes first. ]
So... talking. [ he says it to prompt, but it's another form of apollo trying to trust him. he knows he can throw himself into things head first, but he's giving klavier the chance to talk or act first to follow his lead. ]
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he doesn't let go of his hand, instead leading him to the bedside to sit with him, other hand in his pocket. ]
I only mentioned my fame and our predicament as lawyers to ask if you're prepared to face them... once we leave this place.
[ again, he needs to believe that they will or he'll just go insane. ]
I consider the Gavinners' disbandment and the incarceration of my brother to be... something like the end of two long-term commitments. You understand my faith in my own judgment feels slightly impaired... but if there is one other person I feel I can place my trust in, it would be you. So I would like to know you better, outside of a place like this one.
Are you open to taking things slowly?
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he opens his mouth to interrupt, but he stops short when klavier mentions two source of grief. losing first his brother, and then his best friend, and the disbandment of something he poured his life into... of course he understands the hesitance. apollo himself has his own guilt tied to these things and his hand in them. it's part of why he was resistant to this idea for so long. when klavier finishes speaking, he takes a few moments of his own to collect his thoughts.
they will get out of here. it's important to think about the after. ]
... your dedication is a lot of what I like about you, you know? And... it takes a lot to look at those things and decide you might have to lose them because the truth is more important. Not everyone could. [ he looks down at their hands then. ] Honestly? I didn't know how to approach you afterwards. I wanted to. I... needed to know you were going to be fine, but I didn't know if you would even want to see me or if what I had to say would matter. It's part of why I left.
[ he needed to separate himself from home for a short while to try and sort his thoughts and worries. ]
I want to trust you. And I want to be someone you can trust, too. So... slow is actually better. [ a tiny note of relief in his tone, and an even smaller but honest smile. ] Maybe just... like you said, getting to know each other better outside of work. I'd like that.
[ it's apollo willing to slow down to prove klavier's judgment can be sound again. it's also apollo trying his best to relinquish the tight grip on his own heart and actually let someone try with him. he knows himself well enough to realize he may not be as fast in a courtship as someone else wants, but... maybe that's what makes klavier perfect for him right now. ]
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For all the grief you've given me, you are a romantic at heart yourself, nein? Wanting to check in on me and comfort me, needing to know I am all right... I had no idea you were so doting.
[ he's teasing again, but in quiet, genuine appreciation. his expression softens, and he lets go of apollo's hand to take him by the arm instead, near the elbow. ]
I won't deny being upset about circumstances in general, but you especially are free to visit me, and I will hear anything you have to say. For now...
[ he places a hand on apollo's hip and gently tugs with the other. ]
Come here.
[ get in his lap and kiss him please ]
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That is not being doting. That's being a decent human. [ he says this but he isn't remotely mad about it. also not denying the romantic thing even though he very much is not. not in the way he's sensing klavier is. but hey, apollo's sense of romance really is just being attentive of the people he cares about and willing to do anything for them. he's been worried for a while, and even seeing klavier tease him doesn't incite the usual indignation that comes up but rather helps the tension drains from his shoulders. it's why he settles for watching him, letting klavier's hand move up his arm as he tilts his head. ]
But good to know. I'll see if I can work you into my busy schedule then. [ it's a dumb little joke because, well, look at the WAA. he has plenty of time for something like this. likewise, he has plenty of time right now to do what it is he wants to do and prove that klavier can trust him. he barely has to pull before apollo moves, easily tipping into his lap and letting his hands carefully cradle his face. where were they...? oh, right. kissing senselessly. he can pick up where they left off. ]